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If you’d like to share your experiences and invite others to comment, here’s your chance.
The Monroe Institute
OK, I have been waiting for so long for TMI to catch up with computer/internet technology, great to see the blog come online…
I will get the ball rolling so to speak by reposting “a few” pages of my posts to on of the yahoo TMI forums I frequent
The following text is unaltered from the origial posts, not all posts are included, just the more interesting ones.
Some dates are very old, and this post may be pretty
long…
BYW, I am now almost 45 years old (6/2/2008
) and still learning…
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Journal Entry 5/13/006 and Forum Intro
OK, here goes…
My name is Bob, I have been naturally going OOBE as long as I can remember, at least since I was 3 or 4 years old (I can not remember if I did before that), not intentionally of course, but definitely “out and about” you might say. I did not call it that when I was young, I never gave it much thought, basically I did not think it was anything out of the ordinary until I was in my teens, I was just out having fun. It was when I was in my mid teens when I actively started looking into this and similar “fields of study” such as they are. I read many “metaphysical” books about various subjects, and stumbled upon Robert Monroe’s Journeys out of the body (and later Far Journeys), and found a kindred spirit of sorts. I ordered Wave I of the Gateway Experience series and tried it out. I never got very far in the tapes, due to lack of discipline and impatience (due to my age at the time no doubt). I drifted away from using the tapes at all after a short time, although I continued my uncontrolled nightly activity. Many years passed with more of the same, until a few years ago when I started to become aware of a change in my activities. I started to find myself on what I can only describe as rescue missions. I would find myself out and about, and then suddenly I would be pulled into a new “area”, where I would find someone in need of assistance, and help them out of it. For instance on one recent and vivid rescue, I was drawn to an area where I found a “woman” struggling in what I perceived to be quicksand or mud or something that was holding her where she was. I flew over to her and grabbed her by both hands and with much difficulty hauled her up and out of what was holding her, almost immediately after that I became aware of someone else there who basically communicated to me that they would take it from there (not in words, or anything, he/she/it/they made me aware of their intent).
I am now 42 years old, and I decided to renew my membership with TMI and eventually get the rest of the Gateway Experience series (probably get a new copy of Wave I as well, as I understand that they have all been digitally remastered, as well as the fact, that I no longer have a portable tape player), for now, I made an mp3 copy of wave I and I am using that instead of my old tape version. I have also introduced my 14 year old son to the books and audio material, he is very interested.
As for myself, I want to bring my experiences under full conscious control. I am very confident that I will be able to do so. I recently (over the last week) purchased and read Robert Monroe’s Ultimate Journey book for the first time, and found it very insightful, as well as personally meaningful. I was saddened when I read of Robert Monroe’s’ passing (I found out last week when I went looking for the TMI web site, boy have I been of touch), saddened in that I was hoping to someday go to a Gateway Voyage at TMI, and talk to him in person. I am confident that he found his way to where he wanted to be, whether that is out of the human cycle completely or hanging around, continuing helping others, I hope to find out for myself someday. I do not and have not kept journals of my activity, I never felt the need. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out about the TMI lifeline program (although maybe I should not be surprised) and would like to learn enough control to actively and consciously participate.
I am looking for others, perhaps in the TMI forums, who have had similar experiences. I have read over the last week of so , many web forums, mostly people bragging about how they “projected” as they call it and how easy it was, they just read the forum and tried a suggested method, and *presto, wiz-bang-boom*, they where out. I am surprisingly skeptical about most of these people, and I said hope to find a forum with some more credible people.
Enough for now, sorry, I did tend to wander a bit.
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Journal Entry 5/16/2006
Normal nights sleep, woke up around 7:30 am, wanted to sleep a bit more, plus I have been trying to expand my OOBE preparation exercises. Expressed to my total self that I want to go OOBE today, and that I wished for help, also told myself that I will remember the experience. I tried to relax and went to focus 10, but drifted off to “sleep” or at least lost conscious awareness sometime after that. I had what at first I thought was a very vivid dream, where I was walking down the street somewhere very familiar, at first I thought it was down the street from my house, I turned down a dirt path and just wandered for a while. The dirt path I was walking down turned from a slightly overgrown dirt path (about 1 car width) to a wider light sand road (about as wide as a rural street), it looked like very fresh sand, like it may have been newly put down, the sand road led under a highway overpass. There was a red brick building just before where the sand road passed under the highway overpass and on the right hand side of the sand road (I got the impression it was a department of public works building for some reason), that building should not have been there, if I was where I thought I was walking (neither should the sand road or the highway for that matter). I looked around and realized that I was no where near where I thought I was, in fact, I was not sure where I was, but I was sure that I had gone OOBE during my sleep, and that this was an actual place. It is hard to describe, but once you become alert during these unconscious OOBE sessions, it is quite clear that it is real and definitely not a dream, even a lucid one, things are static and do not shift as they do during any kind of dream, I could walk away from an object, and be away from it for as long as I like, and turn around and retrace my steps, and everything remains the same. also the level of detail is far greater, like the difference between seeing something on TV and seeing it in person in the physical.
I love to fly, so I flew for much of the rest of the OOBE, although most of the time, only a few inches off the ground, kind of gliding. I turned around about ¾ of the way and was another red brick building, this one much longer, maybe a small group of stores in a shared building, and a parking lot beside it. I went toward it and then past the building and down a paved walking path about as wide as a sidewalk, with five or six foot unpainted, weathered tinted picket fence on both sides, which ran between some small houses and a shed or two. I followed the path and I came out in the center of town (whatever town it was), there was a small, rundown, possibly abandoned, theater, a small general store, many generic buildings (stores and such), with a town green in the middle and people walking about doing normal day to day things. I was starting to feel thirsty, so I absent mindedly wandered into the store thinking for a second that I would get a bottle of water, and actually asked the clerk if they took debit cards before I realized what a silly thing that was to do, he must have actually sensed unconsciously what I had said, and he replied (non verbally) that they did. To say I was surprised that he sensed what I said at all is an understatement. I turned around and left the store, I was still thirsty, and was worried that thirst would pull me back to my body, but I thought to myself, I have a bottle of water waiting for me on the back of my bed back home, and I could wait a bit, and the thirst faded. Other than the unexpected communication, the funny thing was, before entering the store I “remembered” I was barefoot (as I usually am OOBE) and for some odd reason, habit I guess, I thought to myself I can not go in there barefoot, as there are footwear requirements in the stores around here, so I just bent my knees and lifted my feet off the floor and glided in… odd things I sometimes think and do in this state.
Anyway, after I left the store, I glided back through the center of town and back down the walking path I found earlier. It was then that I came across a man walking down the path toward me, and he turned to talk to me, which I thought was odd, was he OOBE too, was he a dreamer, was he something else like a person who had died physically, I was not sure? He told me that he left a note for me, and pointed toward what appeared to be a small potting shed about 10 feet further down the path, and then he walked away, curious, I went over to the shed, and found a note tacked to the door, (I got the definite impression of a purplish sticky note with a slightly floral background). I tried to read the note, and could make out part of what it said. The note said meet me at the M?? Theater (I could not make out the the letters after the M) on at ??:?? AM on May ?? and it was signed Michael T??? (?= unclear). I could not pick up the note (although I tried, but my hand passed through it), and the hand writing was terrible, so it was difficult to read. I left rather abruptly after trying to read the note, as I was pulled back to the physical (full bladder again, of all the annoying things), I forgot to look at the clock, but later when I did look at a clock, made it clear that the whole adventure must have taken no more than 15 minutes.
I spent a good deal of time later that day using Google Earth, trying to find a dirt path or road that lead under a highway overpass, since it looked like newly poured sand, I even traced old railroad tracks to where they intersect large roads or highways, as they have been know to pave over old train tracks to make new roads around here, but no luck, I assumed it was fairly local, but it could be anywhere, I may never find out where the town was, or I may be out driving someday, and stumble upon the town, who knows..
Needless to say, I never met up with the man named Michael, whoever he was, although even if I had a clue where to go, would I have wanted to meet him anyway, I have a feeling that he was a dreamer out and about, and mistook me for someone else.
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Journal Entry 5/18/2006
Break through event!!!
I had the day off today, so I slept late this morning, I woke up around 9:45 AM, I was feeling the usual subtle vibrations I get lately almost every time I lay down to go to sleep, so I decided to try a few focus 12 “exercises”.
I decided to try to do a reality check method, basically lying there, asking to myself over and over in my head “am I awake” to try and catch myself at the edge of sleep. I drifted in and out like 10 times over a 10 minute period, catching myself each time, in that “twilight” between full consciousness and the start of sleep, and pulling myself back up to full consciousness with a reality check. During one of these cycles, I lost awareness briefly and found myself standing a few feet away from my bed, I was definitely out of my body, but just like all the other times that I had naturally gotten out (as I have noted in my last posting, I have been naturally going OOBE as long as I can remember, at least since I was 3 or 4 years old. But never a consciously controlled “willed” separation, although I have been trying off and on for many years). I was out, but a little disappointed (funny as that might sound) that I had no memory of the separation process. I noticed several non-physical beings where there with me, very familiar, but not sure who they were, possibly guides. I was out for less than a minute just “walking” around, when I noticed a that one of the beings was female (non-physical, but definitely had a female “feel to her) and was suddenly “overcome” with an annoyingly strong sexual urge which immediately brought me back to the physical, I told my self, no, not this time, this time I will not give up, and I will try again. I shifted my body a bit, and went back to the reality check method. After a few more cycles of start to drift, reality check, return to alertness, I noted that I was no longer drifting, I was holding right there on the edge. I was still feeling the vibrations, the same as earlier, so I decided to just hold it on the edge and watch the blackness with my eyes closed to see how long I could hold it. I just lay there watching the usual random dim patterns you see when you are on the edge. I noticed a slight, disconnected sensation. I have gotten a similar sensation many times while doing the Gateway Experience tapes (Wave I and II), but this was subtly different, I am not sure how to describe the difference, just more disconnected I guess. Still very alert; I decided to try a conscious separation. Every other time I have tried this in the past, I loose control, and drift into sleep, never knowing if I succeeded or not, I simply do not remember either way, although, may times I noted when I woke up again, many “teaching” dreams. This time was different, I stayed in control!!! I noticed the patterns I was watching suddenly changed (or maybe sharpened is a better word) and I was looking into a brilliant white circle of light, kind if like a hollow white 3D starburst, and tried to “move” toward it, I did, and then went through it. After this I felt completely disconnected, I felt like I was floating inside my body, Odd sensation, maybe I can describe it as the sensation you might get if you where completely weightless, floating inside a body shaped sack made of the finest, lightest silk you could ever find. I decided to try the Robert Monroe style roll over method and started to do a 180 roll over, it felt like I was rolling over physically and got a bit disappointed, and just finished rolling over (I thought I simply lost focus and rolled over physically), but then I noticed that I was still weightless, and floating several inches past the edge of my bed, just floating there, I just rolled out of my body, I looked around, and there “I” was (my physical body), still lying there. I got so excited, that I almost lost it, but I stayed in control. I so wanted my first conscious time to be very clinical, so I could study it, but I was so excited, I felt like I could cry tears of joy, I forgot all about being clinical and I flew through the wall out of my house and up into a low altitude flight, still thinking very excitedly, I did it, I did it. I can not describe the feeling of accomplishment and joy I felt, I flew around a bit, then I noticed that I could not really gain any altitude, never more than like 200 feet off the ground, and I figured I must have a temporary mental block about flying, and I was limiting myself with my own thought, I tried a few more times to gain altitude, and then gave up and landed near the center of town (a few miles away) and decided to look around and have fun, I walked across a street, and after a few seconds, I noticed what felt like insects climbing all over my right hand, I almost lost it right there, but held , I looked at my right hand and it looked completely “normal”, then I realized that my physical hand must have “fallen asleep”, my body must be lying on it funny. As soon as I had this realization, I snapped back to the physical, reconnected automatically and started to sit up. I had been lying with my left arm under my pillow, and it was all tingly from “falling asleep” whatever the correct term for that is…
I looked at the clock, time: 10:15 AM.
Interesting side note, I remember reading in one of Bob Monroe’s book (I forget which one) that his non-physical body was opposite his physical, right and left reversed, I guess it is true.
WOW, I had done it, a fully controlled OOBE. Analyzing the whole experience, I now KNOW that I completed the first stage of separation, but I think I was still in what Bob Monroe describes as the second body, which is restricted to short range OOBEs, next time I will try not to get so excited, and try to roll out of the “second body”, and leave it hovering over the physical before getting all excited and flying off.
Interesting notes:
1) While I was out (the second time) and walking around I wanted to make note of things along the way, and I saw the back of an old street sign that was maybe 100 feet away, and wanted to get a better “look” at it, almost immediately, the sign cam into ultra sharp focus, I could clearly “see” the cracks in the old dried up paint, the grain of the old wood behind it, it was the back of the sign, so I saw no words, but it was amazing how sharp non-physical senses are, I would call it sight, but it was much more than sight, I could almost feel the texture, and even though I did not actually move any closer to it, it was sharper and clearer than if I was inches away from it.
2) I not sure if it helped or not(I am pretty sure it did), but last night, I tried out a new hemi-sync CD I got as part of my TMI membership mailing, it is called “Energy Centers (Focus 12 Chakra Exercise)” part of the Heartline series, I did have some very interesting sensations doing this CD, and will definitely do this CD often.
Another perhaps more interesting thing to note: A few weeks ago, my uncle died, He was not much older than 50 years old, and had a been a chronic alcoholic for most of his adult life, which destroyed his liver, he had been in a very depressed state for a very long time, knowing that the liver disease would kill him, he had less than 6 months left at the most, and I guess he did not want to go through the extreme pain associated with dying of liver disease, that he decided to end his own life. I was very saddened, but because of my lifelong experience with natural OOBEs, I have knowledge of our continued existence after physical death, so I decided to try a TMI lifeline style rescue, and asked every night over the last few nights for help from my total self in doing, or preparing to do this. Over these last few weeks, I have noted very strong teaching dreams like I was indeed being prepared for something, which I hoped would lead to me being able to find and help my uncle move to “The Park” that I have read about. For those who are not familiar with Robert Monroe’s books, and the continuing work at The Monroe Institute, “The Park”, also known as The Reception Center, is a nonphysical world “facility” staffed by nonphysical human volunteers, both physically dead, and some doing OOBE work, some of which are TMI Lifeline volunteers. The Park is there to help the newly deceased “adjust” to the non physical world, to recover from any shock or trauma experienced as a result of their physical death, and to decide what to do next. The Monroe Institute’s Lifeline program (see http://www.monroeinstitute.com/program.php?program_id=12 for more info, and in case you are wondering, no, I do not work there or anything…) is “a multi-faceted six-day graduate program that provides access to states of consciousness beyond those experienced in the Gateway Voyage and Guidelines programs. Its primary emphasis is one of service – service to those here in physical matter reality and service to those there who have made the transitions from the physical and who may benefit from assistance.”
I now believe that I (the total non physical I) have been helping myself prepare for conscious OOBE work. One of the more interesting “teaching dreams” I had last week might help explain. I was sleeping a normal night’s sleep, when I suddenly became very lucid in my dream, although it no longer felt like a normal dream, or even any lucid dreams I have had in the past. in the “dream” I was what floating in the air inside of what I took to be a very very narrow shower stall, and I was being helped be several other very familiar beings to wiggle my way out of it (I now recognize them as the same beings that I saw during my OOBE this morning, I woke up before the “dream” finished, but I realized almost immediately that the “shower stall” was my interpretation of being partially disconnected inside my physical body, and the beings where helping me separate. I have had a few other interesting teaching dreams lately that I can not put to words yet, but I will try to later.
Boy this turned out to be much longer post than I had planed.
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Journal Entry 5/20/2006
Nothing interesting happened last night that I can recall, I could not hold the proper state without falling asleep, however this morning, impatient as ever, I tried asking the question of my total self, what am I doing wrong, why I was not able to get out again last night, and surprisingly, got an immediate answer, almost like an intuition, but very strong and clear, basically, be patient, you need to absorb (or maybe process) what you have learned.
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Journal Entry 5/21/2006
Nothing interesting happened last night that I can recall other than a few interesting, dreams, I can only recall a few scenes, not sure what to make of them, were they teaching dreams, or pure fantasy. I woke up a bit too early this morning, and decided to try to get out when, I rolled over and tried to get into the properly relaxed state to try, no concentration at all this morning, I must have fallen back to sleep. I must keep telling myself, patience…
I decided to post the last few days entries, just to keep the ball rolling… no OOBE progress that I can tell consciously, although I feel “different” now, not quite sure how to describe it. I find that I can now bring on the “precursor” vibrations almost at will, I have been playing with it, to see if I can maybe just separate one arm while fully awake, no luck yet, although, I feel like it might be possible given time and practice. Also I have been playing with “expanding” myself (the only word I can think of to describe it really, if any of you have ever played with the TMI “REBALL” exercises, it is similar, only instead of out of the top of my head, and around and back down and back in again, using the same technique, I simply reach, can be directional or just expanded like a balloon) while walking about during my daily life, for instance, while walking in down my driveway to check the mail yesterday, I kind of “reached” out and could almost feel my surroundings, the ground under my feet, the trees over head and grass to my sides, interesting sensation, it actually “feels” similar to the sensation I feels when passing by non-physical hand through solid objects while OOBE, only much more subtle. I have done similar things for years, “popping” my REBALL (as Robert Monroe puts it on the Gateway Experience exercises) while out in public, but it feels different, stronger, and clearer now, I highly recommend you try it, it is fun if nothing else.
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Journal Entry 5/22/2006
Nothing interesting happened last night, no conscious effort to OOBE, just a stated desire to learn what I need to learn to make future OOBEs easier and more productive. I had a few dreams that I have yet to process. I woke up a bit early and decided to listen to the TMI “Energy Centers (Focus 12 Chakra Exercise)” CD again. I did one session with the CD, focus 12 is interesting. I felt my body go numb during the exercise (not disconnected just numb), my mind was not really into it today, I could not hold my focus for very long at any one “energy center”, I would find I was kind of resonating at the energy center as I should be, and then drift back to the previous energy center, and back and fourth, my mind was wandering too much about my day to come, things kept intruding and I had to try to ignore them. I finished the exercise normally and got up for the day. Interesting to note, after listening to the CD and getting up, I felt myself in an very expanded state for 30 minutes or so afterwards, I actually did not want to “come down”, but I did my TMI return to C1 routine to bring myself fully down, I will have to try the CD some day when I have less on my mind, and when I have some time to wander around in that state, maybe see how long I can stay in that state, maybe expand on it. Maybe go for a long walk in the woods or something, or next time I am on vacation and can go for a long walk on the beach at night when it is quiet, might make for an interesting experience. I have decided to make time to finish the Gateway Experience CDs over the next few months (I am at the point that if I won the lottery or something, one of the first things I would do, shortly after taking a nice long vacation someplace tropical, LOL, would be attend a Gateway Voyage).
Side note:
I had a look at some of the Jane Roberts “Seth” material, very interesting, this Seth sounds like one of Bob Monroe’s “INSPECs” as he called them, (which, if you are not familiar with the term, he later found out, was actually his total self helping him along the way, his I-There as he came to call it.). It is interesting to see some of the same material that Bob Monroe covered, translated be a different person, and expanded on in a few places I wish Bob Monroe had time to write about in more detail.
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Journal Entry 5/23/2006
Nothing interesting happened last night that I remember, no conscious effort to OOBE, restated my deep desire to learn to do TMI Lifeline style rescue/retrievals, as well as to learn to better control my OOBE activities and to consciously participate in the process.
I had a few dreams, very odd dreams that I have yet to process. I woke up at a normal time feeling very “closed”, I felt this way for an hour. After an hour or so, I realized I could do quick relax and expand exercise (kind of a modified REBALL exercise) and I feel much more back to normal. Funny, the closed off feeling used to be my normal, I never realizes how closed off I had been all my life up until recently, even though I thought I was open, now it feels… I don’t know how to explain it, kind of like I have moved beyond that state and it now feels very isolated, that might be the right word, at least part of the sensation, but not quite, it would be like you had been living in a closet sized house for most of your life, and then moved into a bigger more spacious home with lost of huge windows and light, etc., living there for a while, and then going back to the closet for a visit, that is not quite right either, but close enough. I think I have been living in this more expanded, open state since my controlled OOBE last week. Why was I so closed this morning, I have no idea, maybe I learned a new lesson that I needed to close tightly to process or absorb, I am not sure, but it was very easy to open back up, something that would have taken a very long mediation session to get to, and then it would fade quickly, now takes a couple of seconds to get back to, and then stays with me unless I close myself again. Maybe my breakthrough experience was more of a breakthrough than I first realized. I have a feeling that this is jus the beginning, and in time I may feel that even my new “expanded” state will feel too small, we’ll see what happens, it is going to be a great adventure.
I read more of the “Seth” materials last night, very interesting, but the skeptic in me still jumps up (as it should), and I remind myself, to take everything with a grain of salt as they say, and take Bob Monroe’s advice and go out end experience it for myself, turn unknowns into knowns, and do not go by beliefs, I still prefer Bob Monroe’s point of view, but there is definitely some interesting things in the materials.
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Journal Entry 5/24/2006
Good nights sleep. Sleep preparation:
I once again I stated my deep desire to learn to do TMI Lifeline style rescue/retrievals, as well as to learn to better control my OOBE activities and to consciously participate in the process. Restful nights sleep no waking awareness of OOBE activities, awoke early (4:30 AM) and decided to go OOBE. I did my relaxation exercises and reached for focus 10, and then focus 12 (focus 12 is new to me, but I think I was close), I seemed to have lost focus and drifted off to sleep. I awoke again at around 7:00 AM from a vivid state, felt like an unconscious OOBE or at least I did not recall the separation process. During this vivid “state”, I found myself sitting at a table of some kind with the same female presence that seemed very familiar to me before (guide?). I turned my head and saw my uncle standing there (the one that recently passed), he did not recognize me, and I did not try to introduce myself (I got the impression that I should not at this time, that I was not ready) He looked very well, healthy and strong, very similar in appearance to when I last was him, only younger. The scene was outside, on what seemed to me, a waterfront dock area (not a wooden dock, but the very large paved over type) with many people mulling around seeming to do normal everyday things, but some of them seemed to be wandering aimlessly around, as if they where lost. There was a line of “food” tables set up a little way across from where I was sitting, I shifted my focus enough to get a close look, and it was kind of like an outdoor soup kitchen or something, only with unlimited amount and variety of food, there were people standing in line with trays getting “food”. I got the impression that, whatever type of food a person wanted, it would be there for them, and as much as they needed or wanted. The people I saw were varied, some had a very normal appearance, and some looked very dull, kind of grey, and fuzzy. I woke up with no transition noted, I feel very open this morning, no closed up feeling like yesterday.
Impressions:
1) This was an OOBE, not a “dream”
2) I was with a guide of some type with me.
3) I was either taken to or with the help of the guide, found a place where my uncle would be wandering around.
4) This place was very close to the physical in terms of focus, everything had a very earth like appearance and feel.
5) Many if not most of the people here were physically dead, but did not know it, and some had been here a long “time”.
6) There were beings there to help the people I saw wandering about (soup kitchen, and others).
7) I got the definite impression that I was being “trained” (or maybe helped to remember is a better phrase).
I think that I am indeed being helped to fulfill my stated desire to help in recovery, and I am glad that my uncle is well.
Note about yesterday: After I wrote my 5/24/2006 journal entry, I was feeling so good, that I took the day off (I am a newly self employed IT consultant, about 6 months now). I was feeling like everything was right with the world and everything was in its place. The trees looked greener, the sky looked brighter, the bird song in the air clearer, etc. At one point I was standing on my porch, just enjoying… everything, my wife came out and asked me what I was doing, and I told her I was just “being”. I felt like taking a walk, so I asked my wife to take a nice long walk with me, and we did, during the walk I actually felt like skipping or something, my wife, kind of jokingly, said are you high, I laughed and said yes, yes I am, on life.
Side note: No I do not do any drugs of any kind…
All in all, an outstanding day, and this day is looking to be as good, I have to get some work done today, but I intend to take another walk later when I am done working. I am not sure what kind of “breakthrough experience” I had yesterday, but it affected my more than I realized when I was writing my journal entry.
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Journal Entry 5/25/2006
Good nights sleep. Sleep preparation:
I once again I stated my deep desire to learn to do TMI Lifeline style rescue/retrievals, as well as to learn to better control my OOBE activities and to consciously participate in the process. I Tried to OOBE twice, once when I first went to bed and again at around 4:30 AM, drifted off both times. Restful nights sleep,
Notes:
Interesting “dream” right before I woke up for the day, in the dream I was given two devices. One device was a wand like device, about 3/4 to 1 inch in diameter and about 16 inches long, that seemed to be made out of a bundle of something similar in appearance to a bundle of individual clear optical fibers with a small grip at the bottom end, and open at the other end and flexible enough to fan out on the open end. And by holding the “wand” and by “tuning” my energy (I am not sure how to describe this. It almost worked like the old bio-feedback devices I used to see on TV, which would give a visual indication of brainwave frequency, if you know what I mean), the wand would change colors depending on my energy state and “tuning”. The color changes would be along the length of the wand as well as at the ends, in other words, it looking down the length of the “wand” might give a slight rainbow effect, with the colors shifting up and down the length of the “wand” depending on how I “tuned” my energy. (Unlike optical fibers which would show almost no light along the length of the fiber, and strongly only from the ends). I played with this device for a little while, not sure how long; it seemed almost like a teaching toy. The other device was a crystal device, very simple, but I got a very detailed impression of it. The device seemed to allow for focus, manipulation and projection of mental energy, allowing me to influence objects and people at a distance very easily. Odd how detailed an impression of the device I got, I was able to hold it, experiment with it, and even take it apart and see its parts in detail. Basically it was made up of: an outer hollow semi-transparent tube about ¾ inches in diameter and about 3-4 inches long, (maybe plastic) seemed to be more protection than function. Inside was a small blue faceted crystal, about 3-4 inches long and about 1/8 of an inch in diameter. The clear tube was capped on both ends by a red, soft cap (possibly a silicone or rubber like substance) that also served to hold, cushion, and center the blue crystal. The device would be held in the closed fist, wrapping you fingers around it lightly. The crystal seemed to glow lightly when held, and the outer transparent tube seemed to diffuse the glow so it looked like the whole length and width of the tube glowed along with the inner crystal. The operation of the device was similar to the “wand” device, in that it would perform different functions depending on my tuning and intent. One of the functions of the device seemed allow me to direct a gentle wave of energy at an individual and that individual would become transparent, sort of phasing visually and possibly more than visually. I am not sure of the other functions, other than that I was aware that there were other useful functions. Total dream experience time seemed to a few hours. I am no sure what to make of this dream, the memory of it is as clear as if it happened physically, and has not faded the way dreams normally do. I would be very interested in hearing if any of the people in my TMI discussion forums have ever had any similar “dreams”?
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Journal Entry 5/30/2006
Restful nights sleep, awoke at 7:10 AM to my oldest son knocking on the door and telling us that he needed lunch money (we had overslept a bit, and we had forgotten to make school lunches the night before), my wife got up to give him lunch money and to go wake up our youngest son and to give him lunch money as well, and then climbed back into bed, spooned up against my back and almost immediately fell back to sleep. I was about to get up, but could not bring myself to leave the nice cuddling time, so I decided to lay there a while, then after a little while, I thought that I would kind of “test the waters” a bit, and see if I could go OOBE with her holding me around the waist. Funny thing, I started saying to myself I am going to get out over and over, and I would feel myself sliding out, but as soon as I started to separate, I would snap back. I did this about a dozen or so times over a 10 or 15 minute period, then I managed to hold it and slipped out quite easily, as soon as I got out, I slid right out, through the wall to the outside. I did a reach and fast “slide” out to a wooded road that I like to take walks on (by fast slide I mean the kind of almost instantaneous OOBE movement you get when you put your destination in you mind, reach out or maybe stretch and then you kind of slide or move very quickly to your destination, while the surroundings kind of go by in a blur). It was then that I noticed that I had pulled my wife out with me, (thinking back, it was probably her snapping me back all those times). We stayed out for maybe 5 minutes or so walking down the road holding hands, before she popped away, back to her body and woke up. I popped back as well right after that, no loss of conscious awareness at all. I did not mention it to her, but I think I will, to see if she remembered any of it. I have had a few interesting “teaching” dreams over the last few days, but I can not bring enough of the details to the surface to write it down yet other than they were teaching dreams, but yesterday, there was definitely “afterlife” mentioned, which is funny, because I never use that word, maybe more rescue and retrieval training. If I can recall any of it, I will include it in a later post.
Update: I asked Michele if she remembered having any dreams of anything this morning after she came back to bed after giving the boys their lunch money, and she said that she did have a really strange dream, she could not remember the details, but we were both in it and she thought we were at a beach but she was not sure where. Interesting to note, during our brief OOBE walk, we walked through a medium sized stream which ran under the road we were walking on.
——-
Journal Entry 6/2/2006
Restful nights sleep, awoke at 6:00 AM, I had another hour before I had to get up, and so I decided to try to go OOBE. I tried the technique that gave me the best results to date. I stated to my greater self the deep desire to go OOBE then I relaxed and went to focus 10, stayed at focus 10 for a few minutes, and then went for focus 12. I believe I achieved focus 12 and then tried to hold focus 12 for a few minutes but my awareness drifted. The next thing I know, I am flying about 7 feet off the ground, above (and following) a street in my old home town from 15 years ago. I realized at once that I had gotten OOBE, and I tried to note landmarks for later. Some things looked a bit different from how I remember, like some bridge work going on, or at least there was a chain link fence on the bridge that looked new. I made note of the fence and a red rectangular sign right before the bridge. I thought to myself, I am going to fly home, but instead of heading towards where I live now, changing course and started flying over the bridge and headed toward where I used to live (odd). I noted that I was loosing altitude, and I though “I must be low on energy” (I guess I was equating my altitude loss on low energy), and as soon as I thought this I instantly switched locations. The new location was a non-physical location (or at least it felt that way), and very familiar (although I do not consciously remember being there before). It appeared like the inside of a large structure, and there were “desks” with people sitting, and there was a larger desk in the front of the “room”. The room had the feel of a classroom. I walked over the desk in the front of the room and started to talk, but I was pulled back to my body and came back to full physical consciousness, with no break in awareness noted (reason for recall, my wife had gotten up). The next time I am in the area, I will have to check out the bridge area in my old home town.
——-
Journal Entry 6/3/2006 – 6/7/2006
I have been busy over the last week, have not had time to write. Here is a quick recap:
I have been out 4 nights at least, with the rest filled with teaching dreams. Of the OOBE sessions, I have basically been trying to examine my environment, such as: Last night, I spent most of it pushing myself though various materials (glass door, Metal wall, plaster wall, wooden barn wall, at varying speeds, from a quick slip through to a very slow push though) observations. (Note: all experiments were done with non-physical “eyes” open.)
All materials: quick slip through, barely noticeable sensation if any, like walking against a light breeze. The interesting parts came with the slow pushes, first of all, the materials are more “solid” (but slightly flexible in sensation, like pushing against a rubber sheet), when done this way, possibly because I am focused more on them. Glass door: slow push felt like pushing against a flexible Plexiglas partition then almost like slipping through a slit in the middle. The metal wall was similar, but a little more course or rough in “texture”. The wooden barn wall was the most interesting since it was a fully framed wall with paneling on the inside, then an open space, then a layer of particle board and then wooden siding. It was really interesting passing through the layers, I even found a big spider egg sack inside the wall on my way through. Passing through the wood, felt like physically pushing through a piece of thin, wet cardboard. Now hat I think about it, the “flexible” feel to the materials, might come from the own non-physical body being flexible, rather than the materials feeling that way. Note, during all OOBE experiments this last week, I have been kind of skipping the whole roll out sensation, rather just “pop” out with no change in consciousness. My state before separation was a deep focus 12, maybe a bit “higher”. I have also been continuing my “play” while physical, “expanding” myself outwards while out walking, great sensation, if I get my “energy state” high enough, I get this very giddy, euphoric sensation, like I was suddenly in a perfect world and everything is in absolute harmony, really hard to describe. Another interesting note while I am doing this, is that my “awareness” shifts, almost splits, so while I feel my physical body, and sense through my physical senses, I also feel like I am sensing from the whole of my expanded self. So far, the farthest I have expanded was to a generally spherical form probably about (or seemed) 200-300 feet in diameter. I sense no limit to how far I can expand, there is no thinning or weakening noted. Anyone reading this journal entry should try doing this, it is great, if you are not sure how, start by using a technique very similar to the TMI REBALL exercises, only instead of just energy you are pushing out, you kind of “push” outwards with your awareness, (the easiest way to start is to begin with the actual REBALL exercise, and then push on from there, in other words, form your energy balloon and push it out along with your awareness).
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Journal Entry 8/22/2006
Greetings all, sorry that it has been a while since I last made a journal entry, I been very busy with the new business, and have not had time to keep my journal. I have been having a lot of interesting teaching dreams, and things have been progressing in my “energy work”, I have had a few more “lessons” with the energy wand devices, I find that I am learning to help others tune their energy fields, and unblock energy flows, and maybe more as I progress, the wands are non-physical teaching tools, gives a “visual” feedback so I know I am doing what I intended to do, without having to practice on real “people”, although I have had a few guided sessions actually working on others “people’s” energy bodies, very cool and interesting. Oh by the way, in an earlier post on the subject where I said “One of the functions of the device seemed allow me to direct a gentle wave of energy at an individual and that individual would become transparent, sort of phasing visually”, I have discovered the reason they would become transparent, I was raising their energy state out of my current “visual” range, and had to adjust my personal energy “frequency” a bit higher to see them properly, interesting. Another interesting development the other day, I have always had a largely un-tapped natural ability to direct healing energy into others, but the other day my wife was complaining of a stomach cramp, so I looked over to her stomach, and I could actually “see” a slight glow about three inches wide and roughly circular in her lower abdomen, (thing to note, I have not done any energy work from my “lessons” with anyone in the physical and for that matter have not tried sending healing energies to anyone in … maybe 20 years (other than my wife and children, and occasionally sending brief waves of healing energy into people I see while I am out and about physically, for instance, I might see someone in a wheel chair, or someone with some physical disability, I just send out the energy as I walk past them, or behind them, and hope for the best, as I will never get feedback on whether or not it helped in any way), not sure why it has been so long since I did it out in the open, I guess I just did not feel secure enough in myself to do it in the open, (I am still not really). Anyway, I asked my wife to come over and see if I could still “fix it”. She came over and I put my hand over the spot, I could actually feel a hot spot at that same area. I tried sending healing energy through my hands and I was please to find that I can still do it (when the healing energies are “flowing” it kind of feels like a warm tingling sensation in my hands), I continued for about 30 seconds, until I could no longer feel the hot spot, and then told her OK, and she went back to her chair, and I noticed that the glow was now gone from her stomach. About a half hour later we were in the kitchen making dinner and my wife came up to me and told me that the pain in her stomach went away a few minutes after I sent her healing energy or in her words “did the hand thing”, and asked me to “heal” her again, she had a pain in her back (from sitting at her desk for too long or something), and I successfully made the pain go away again. Needless to say, I was pleased that I can still do it and more, before (many years ago) when I tried it, I could only feel the healing energy I was sending, but could not really sense the energy state, I guess I would call it, of the person I was working on (other than very vague sense of warmth). The person I was working on would just give me feedback verbally, like they might say “I feel a warm tingling sensation”. Now it seems I am starting to be able to see and feel the other persons’ energy. (thing to note, I would never tell the person what I was trying to try to do, I though doing so might taint the feedback. I just tried to be very casual about it, One of my friends might be complaining about an injury or pain or something, and I would kind of say, come here and let me have a look, and then hold my hand over the area and do my best to send healing energy, I would get a great sense of personal satisfaction when they would, (un-prompted) give me positive feedback. One in particular time that comes to mind, was with a friend of my wife, who had chronic leg pain for years, we where visiting her house one night, and she was limping around and complaining about the pain, so I did the “come here and let me have a look” routine and started sending healing energy to her leg, and she suddenly pulled away, and in a surprised tone, asked what I was doing, and that her leg was getting hot and was starting to tingle extremely strongly. I had to tell her what I was trying to do so she would allow me to continue. We continued the session for a few more minutes until I felt it was enough, and then went back to talking and visiting, a short time later she came over to me with a very surprised look on her face, and kind of loudly (she was always a bit loud, LOL) said that her leg no longer hurt at all, for the first time in years. Needless to say, things like this do boost ones self confidence a bit, but even still I have not really done anything out in the open, other than with my wife and children.
I have not had any additional consciously initiated OOBEs since I last wrote, I have tried a few times, but I end up getting over exited and loose it, I will try to approach the process a little more clinically, or at least try to curb my excitement. I am still having lots of the teaching dreams, and a few OOBEs that I did not consciously initiate, (the ones where you find yourself out during sleep). I have also been mentally reviewing some of my earlier memories, and I think I have made an interesting discovery, my helpers or guides that I said looked familiar for some reason, I think that are actually other versions of me, past or future I do not know, I hope to keep focused enough to ask them one of these days, and I will post a follow up… and at least one of the “rescue” missions might have been one of my earlier selves, not sure, I just “have a feeling” about it.
Another interesting development, lately when out and about (physically), I am noticing that my view of the physical world is changing, for instance, I like to walk in the grass, barefoot, but now, as I walk, if I pay attention, I can feel the energy of the grass under my feet as I walk, for that matter, I am starting to feel energy everywhere, in the air, in the ground, everywhere, not just energy, but different energy patterns from different things, very subtle, but there none the less. It is similar to the feeling you get after an electrical storm, you know how the air “feels” charged afterwards, kind of like that, but not electrical. Also, I am not sure how to describe it, but when I tune my senses right (non-physical I assume), it almost feels like everything around me including my own body are all, not only connected, but all part of the same… I don’t know… material maybe, kind of like our physical bodies and everything else in the physical universe are all just different “shapes” projected into some uniform material, I don’t know, its , very hard to put into words. I still feel completely separate, but also directly connected to everything else at the same time if that makes sense to you.
Oh, I finally got around to replacing my old worn out copies of my Gateway Experience tapes, and to get the rest of the series, I now own the whole thing, and it is all digitally remastered, and now includes focus 15, I am slowly “working” my way up to the new focus 15 CDs (I put that in quotes, because it is more like play than work. I started over again with CD 1 of wave 1, and even though I was getting pretty good at going to focus 10 and 12, I wanted to start over with the remastered CDs. Reacquainting myself with the basics seem to have deepened my focus 10, and allows for a quieter mind for the start of the exercises, I just started to first focus 12 CD in the remastered set and I am hoping for deeper 12 as well, I highly recommend replaying some of the very early exercises, and treating it like it was your first time. By the way, what a difference in sound quality, I have been listening to mp3s of my old tapes, with all of the static and hiss that went along with ripping old tapes (really old) to mp3…).
Oh, another by the way, I just finished reading “Cosmic Journeys” by Rosalind McKnight (one of Bob Monroe’s first “explorers” at TMI in the 1970s and noted several time in his books as “ROMC”). Very good book, interesting to hear the process from another point of view, although my world view and thinking processes work more like Bob Monroe’s, I like the different viewpoint, and even though, some of the imagery seems a bit tainted by her personal belief systems, and some of her interpretations seem a bit out there, but who am I to say, LOL. The book is a good read, and I highly recommend it.
Sorry about the very long post, but I had a lot to get out.
The following is a post on the Yahoo Gateway Journal site in answer to a post.
11/21/2006
I wish I could explain it better, but it very difficult to explain. I, like all of you, am still learning. I can tell you one thing though, the more I learn, the more the effects seem to be accelerating, and the stronger I am able to sense they world around me, the more I realize that I am only getting the slightest glimpse, and there is SO much more to come.
Try this exercise. Set aside a time in a quiet location, indoors or outdoors (outdoors on the grass, on a warm sunny day is my favorite). Sit in a relaxed position, close your eyes, and relax you mind and body, it is not required that you go to light focus 10 although; it can make your exercise a little easier. Once you are in a relaxed state (focus 10 or not) form a reball, if you are not familiar with the term reball, it is a Monroe Institute term, short for resonant energy balloon. This is taken from the Gateway Experience manual:
–
Create a flow pattern with your breath by letting energy flow out of the top or your head like a fountain, allowing it to continue flowing gently down and around you, and then reentering your body, through the bottoms of your feet. Then shift the flow pattern into a spiral, winding the energy down around you and coiling it back up inside you.
–
Basically breath in, feel, and visualize if you can, a warm flow of energy coming into your feet, and up your legs, and then into the rest of your body, and then out the top of you head, then let the energy return to the earth, and then back into you again, kind of like waves of warm water washing over you, at first it may start out very daydream like, but with practice the effect will become more and more pronounced, the sensations vary person to person, in my case I feel a warm tingling sensation building throughout my body, and then beyond.
I highly recommend practicing the TMI Gateway Experience CDs, especially the wave 1 CDs, the hemi-sync definitely enhances the effects, especially in the beginning, and gives you a good solid foundation to build on. Now, once you are already able to do this, (form a reball) even if it is only vaguely in your mind, you are ready for the rest of the exercise.
Form your reball, but now instead of simply letting the energy cycle through you, start to use it as a “probe”, hard to explain, I guess the easiest way to explain is to mentally visualize that you are reaching out with a part of your energy balloon, and direct it towards the grass if outside, or the floor, carpet, bed sheets, what ever is under and around you if you are inside, it really does not matter, even “non-living” matter is full of energy (I prefer grass, as it seems a little easier in the beginning, as your mind already sees it as living), now slowly sweep across the grass with energy, just as you would if you were brushing it lightly with your hand. Just keep you mind and feelings open at this point and make note of anything you feel. You may begin to notice a slight interaction between your energy and the energy around you (with practice you probably will).
Once you start getting results with this, expand to other types of probing, for instance, form your energy balloon while out walking, and reach out to the things around you, trees, rocks, animals, other people, even just into the air around you, all of it is just glowing with energy, explore.
Do not take my exercise as best or only way to explorer these things, I only offer this as one example, but one I think you will enjoy.
This may or may not be of any help, sorry, I can not give better descriptions right now, it is like trying to explain what the color blue looks and feels like, only harder, it is more like you are trying to describe the color blue, only to find that the color that you thought was so separate from you, is really not separate at all… I will try, over the next few days and weeks to try to find a better way to describe what I feel (and begin to see), in words that I can write down and post for you. I can tell you it is a wondrous feeling.
Bob…
— In GatewayJournal@yahoogroups.com, [name removed]wrote:
> Hey bob. I read one of your posts and you say that you can sense
> energy, such as energy of the grass on your feet. Can you give me more
> examples of this? How did you come to be able to do this? What
> practices or experiences did you have to start this? If you can really
> do this then its my opinion that your pretty evolved, i would love to
> get to the point you are at. I can have OBEs and stuff but my energy
> practices are not up to par.
>
The following is a post on the Yahoo Gateway Journal site in answer to a post.
11/22/2006
It sounds to me as if you are doing very well, although, I would suggest spending more time with all of the into CDs before creating your own mixes, and also be sure to read the written manuals, there are a few things in there that are not covered verbally in the CDs.
As far as your higher self, inner guide, or whatever you want to call it, ask for clarification with the messages you receive, sometimes we get information that make no sense right away, but weeks down the road the information received clicks into place, like a piece in a very large puzzle. Sometimes I get information in the form of teaching “dreams”, that in the beginning are just a bunch of seemingly unrelated dreams, end up being part of a series of learning experiences, and once I get far enough into the “lesson” (over many days, sometimes weeks), I get one of those, OHHHH, Now I understand, moments, so keep at it. I actually started using the TMI Gateway Experience tapes, in the very early days of the program, way back in the mid to late 70s, I was like 16 or 17 at the time (I don’t remember exactly), but as with most teenagers, I was impatient, and eventually stopped, it was not until earlier this year that I seriously got back into it, so try to be patient, you are exactly where you need to be, and you will progress.
Bob…
— In GatewayJournal@yahoogroups.com, [name removed]wrote:
>
> JOURNAL ENTRY 5
>
> I listened to Wave 1 part 3, and after getting into a deep focus 10
> switched to part 6, where your suppost to explore whatever you want.
> So Im getting into it and my mom opens the door and i have to talk to
> her for a few seconds.. I dont move, just talk. So she left and i got
> back into it. My goal was to contact my higher self and for a guide
> to pull me out of my body. It didnt happen. Im feeling stuck at this
> point… I mean some things came to me that I really didnt understand,
> it wasnt a total visual thing, like I saw it but I didnt see it, you
> know? Kinda imagined. But a few things just came out of left field and
> didnt make sense. But besides that nothing good. I want awsome things
> to happen. I want to see my guide, talk with my higher self, figure
> things out. But its only been five days so maybe its just too soon. I
> hear people at the Monroe Institute having amazing experiences the
> first night! why cant I??
>
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Journal Entry 8/22/2006
Laurie Monroe – Interesting healing vision
A very interesting thing happened to me last night (early AM). I was doing my nightly bed time wind down in focus 12+, and I was doing my best to send Laurie Monroe healing energy, and I expressed my desire to my higher total self (and all of the personas in my total self) that I/they join me in sending her healing energy, and that I/we join all the others in the world that are doing the same. I was suddenly shown a extremely vivid vision of Laurie Monroe surrounded by thousands upon thousands of glowing forms, each one sending a brilliant beam of energy toward her, she looked like the hub of a gigantic spoked wheel , but with the spokes radiating in from every direction and angle. The vision was so vivid, that I could even see it dimly when I opened my eyes (although only a shadow of the vivid images I was seeing when I closed my eyes again…). Pretty cool sight. She definitely has many many people/souls who care about her and wish her to get well.
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Journal Entry 3/12/2008
Greetings all, it has been quite a while since my last journal entry. This entry is just a quick update on a few interesting things that have been happening. I have been having many non consciously initiated OBEs over the last few months, and in many of them I was with a small group of what I can only guess are other aspects of myself in other lives or those that have completed lives, 5 or 6 total, mixed male and female, the same ones all the time, although all of them are not always present, sometimes only one or two of them are. Usually we “meet” in a small room, athough the apearence of the room changes to suit the mood. One time I exited this “room” and looked out into a much larger “building” and saw many thousands of “people” in an auditorium like structure (imagine walking out of a small room, with glass walls (that kind of remind me of music practice rooms I used to visit at the local college while I was in high school), into a circular walkway in the upper most section of this “building”, and overlooking the largest movie theater, or better, college lecture hall you could possibly imagine, looking over the “railing” and seeing many thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) of people in the “auditorium” below). I get the impression that these people are in all in nightly dream school, running through teaching dreams. Anyway, the other day, I was with 2 people of my small group (one male and one female) and was handed a key ring with a bunch of keys on it, I got the impression that I these keys represented, I guess you could say, my moving on to the next level of my development, and that the 2 beings I was with were graduating , maybe from “Earth school” altogether, and that I may not see them again for a while (although the smile on their faces told me that it would not be too long before I graduate also, at least that is the feeling I got), and that they wanted to give me the “keys” before they left. I returned to my body, with a great sense on accomplishment, although I am still not sure of what exactly, only that it was very important.
Oh, funny thing happened the other day while I was OBE locally, I remembered that my youngest son wanted me to try to help him “get out” and to come and get him next time I was out, well, I went back to my house, flew up to the second floor, where the bedrooms are, and passed through the wall of my bedroom, on the way to his, I “walked” around the foot of my bed, and got stuck, kind of like I got my foot hung up on something, and could not pull free, I looked behind me to see what I could possibly be stuck on, and noticed that my right foot, was not reattached to my physical body, I tried to pull free, but I snapped back in fully and became physically conscious… I guess I got too close to my physical body… Another funny thing that happened a few weeks back, I was returning to my physical body after a lengthy OBE session, and I “landed” in my bedroom, and saw. what for a split second registered in my mind as my oldest son lying in my bed, it took me a second to realize it was me I was looking at, I got a laugh out of it, and retuned to the physical. Usually I return so fast that I do not actually see myself before “reentry”, just slip in… Funny thing is, my son is clean shaven except for a pitiful first attempt at a goatee, (we call it his chin pet), and I have short but full, slightly (ok more than slightly, lol) grey beard, and instead if seeing myself right away, I see what I thought was my oldest son with a beard… odd, but funny.
FYI… I purchased the Monroe Going Home series CDs because they go all the way to focus 27, I will try to post more info about them in the weeks ahead once I get into them, I have done the into CD, and so far I like them, very relaxing metamusic in the background unlike the gateway CDs.
That’s all for now.
Thanks for bearing with the long series of posts…
Bob
I am scheduled to attend Gateway Voyage on June 21st with two friends. We are driving all the way from Naples, Florida in the south west part of the state. We decided to embrace the fact that our airline carrier went bankrupt and make this a journey to remember. We are stopping near Jacksonville, FL to have a reading with a Psychic Medium. The next stop is a new Metaphysical church near Roanoke for spiritual services and readings from their Reverend who “connects” via a light trance, then on to TMI. Once we complete our Gateway Voyage, we will return via Cassadaga, a historical spiritual camp in central Florida (formerly the summer retreat for the Lily Dale Spiritualistic Community in NY) before returning home to Naples.
We plan on journaling our experiences and will share with the TMI Community upon our return!
Candie Sanderson
Naples, FL
I am so glad to see this, I have been waiting for TMI to catch up with computer/internet technology, great to see the blog come online…
I left a much longer comment a few weeks ago, basically excerpts from my gateway journal detailing a few more interesting experiences, but I guess it was too long and got dropped (or caught in the spam filter, lol)
Keep up the inovations TMI… I hope to be able to afford a gateway voyage someday…
Hi All,
Some recent graduates of Gateway and I are using the “Take Home Exercise” CD during worldwide sessions we hold as a group. The purpose is to create synergy, and to ensure we get regular practice.
We would welcome your participation during the following times:
Tuesdays, 7 pm Pacific Time
and
Saturdays, 8 am Pacific Time
Regards,
Dalton
Dear Monroe Friends:
This clip from a newsletter I receive was the first time I had heard about this event. I thought some of you might be also interested.
“… one more event I’d love to turn you on to is Lynne Taggert’s international Peace Intention Experiment. On September 14, 2008, she will launch the first in a series of Peace Intention Experiments testing the power of group intention to lower violence in areas around the world. This could be the largest scientific study in history, with hundreds of thousands of participants sending an intention for peace under highly controlled scientific conditions. You can check it all out and register at: http://www.theintentionexperiment.com/peace ”
Best wishes,
Deborah
Stumbling Block on the Journey – #5 Sleep Exploration (Focus 10)
I’m just getting started with the take-home series, using Wave I for about 2 weeks, and all is going well except this odd Sleep Exploration exercize. All the other exercises are fairly agnostic– they tell you how to behave but not what you will experience. I think I’ve done well with Focus 10, and that the depth of my meditative states has improved dramatically.
But this one exercise is confounding me. The voice tells me to do or feel things, and they just don’t happen. “Roll like a log in water”– ok, I believe I’m rolling, but objectively, all of my senses say I’m not. “Float gently away”– maybe some part of me is floating, but if it is, it is a part that provides NO sensations of this fact, and again my senses are telling me that my corporal body is lying heavily and motionless against the bed.
Then, he says “when I count to 20, you will fall deeply & naturally asleep”– no matter how tired I am at this point, this statement has consistently ensured that I am fully wake by “20″, and something about it (partly the background audio) also leads to me popping right out of focus 10, and there I am lying in bed like an insomniac. And I normally never have trouble falling asleep!
At that point, the only way for me to fall asleep is to turn off that tape!
So I’m left with a dilemma– do I continue to invest time in this exercise? If so, I would go back and work on deepening my “10″ level with earlier tapes, and then hit this one at night– for how long? Until I’m floating? Until I can fall asleep on command?
Or should I leave that one and move on? Is my failure to follow the commands in this exercise a sign that I am unprepared to “graduate” to later lessons/waves?
Do most folks actually “remember their true selves”? Does everyone fall asleep at “20″? Should I be floating “up and away” before attempting the Wave II series?
If no one has any advice, I’ll probably throw that disc into my Energy Conversion Box, bury it in the yard for a few days and then “bubble” it off into oblivion!
Thanks!
where to begin and what to say? over the last few years I have been expanding my regular diet of literature (mostly orthodox christian writing: scripture, inspirational, devotional, and the like) to include psychology and paranormal, if I may use that term. I read found one of Monroe’s books at the library and read it. A few more books on near death and some on mysticism as well as a visit to the Monroe website and I decided to step out of my comfort zone and order the Gateway cd Wave 1. I have been using wave 1 and continuing my excursive reading. I haven’t had any radical experiences with the exception that my whole world (universe/reality)view is changing. Also I am finding an incredible sychronicity among the literature I am digesting.
o.k. so I’m done running on and am to the heart of the reason for this entry. I have noticed due to a recent announcement that a distant in-law has been diagnosed with scizophrenia. It occurred to me that I have had, in varying degrees, relationships with 7 different persons who have been diagnosed with this disorder. I have often wondered if there is a spiritual dynamic occuring with these people, but now with my most recent reading I feel there must be some kind of connection with the reality beyond our physical senses. does anyone reading this know if hemi-sync has been used as a treatment modality with relation to this condition? I would be very interested.
grace and peace
Hemi-Sync use with Schizophrenia
To attempt to answer the question from the above post re: the use of Hemi-Sync as a treatment modality with Schizophrenia, I just finished reading Focusing the Whole Brain, Edited by Ronald Russell. There is a chapter in that book referring to the use of Hemi-Sync as a COMPLEMENTARY treatment of chronic schizophrenics.
I also found the same study on the Monroe Institute link: http://www.monroeinstitute.com/voyages/hsj-2002-sprsum-treatment-rstaudtjmckee.html
Candie Sanderson
Thanks, Ms Sanderson.
Ars Lindum
Hello, I joinned TMI Student Membership not a long time ago. I have deep interest in Oobe. And tought it would be nice to share them with you along with my personal reflextions. I would like to meet and talk with people with similar interests but those people are remote around here from where I live. And who knows maybe someone has some hints or their own 2 cents on some of my experiences. I’m sorry if any of this is long. It is some cut and paste from my blog site.
About Me:
I would like to take this opportunity to Introduce myself. I am an average 22 year old man. I live in a small town in Canada. I own and operate 2 radio stations in the area. I had an interest in Radio Computers,Electronics,Sound for a long time. In fact I think I might be one of the youngest Broadcasters in Canada, Since I had 2 Licenses by the age of 19. I had some good support in these towns, still running smooth! Before that at about the age of 16. I had a wireless ISP business. That involved going up on towers and installing an antenna at a clients house so they could get high speed Internet in remote areas by using Access Points from my towers back in town. (kind of like cell phones but on a smaller scale). One long story short is this didn’t work out for me. The only reason I was doing it was because I still lived at home with my parents then. And we had no access to high speed Internet. This equipment was way to expensive to operate just for us. So we connected almost the whole street to our wireless system. But It was a pain, and there was no one to help me. I burned myself out climbing towers. So that lasted a few years. But It was good timing, because everyone had access to high speed Internet after a few years.I was then left with the equipment and I did various things with it such as trying to stream video and I had a couple of friends on it. It was an Access Point to our shared LAN and at the same time we streamed various tv channels from our home forming a shared mini wireless cable system. But this was just for fun. Never got anywere with it. But if anything it gave me more experience into the radio field before I started the radio stations. I’m Still doing the Radio Station thing now and I must say I like it for the most part.
My Past&Early Experiences With Out Of Body
It first started when I was about 6 years old. I had a very active imagination and very active dreams. There was one time I remember swimming in the public pool in town, then all of a sudden. I would just know hey im dreaming. the first thing I thought of doing at 6 years old to validate this was to just go underwater and breath. So I did and I was like oh cool. And that was it. I had some more occasionally, but I would not force them or pay much attention to them. At that age it was not a main “focus” It was not about till I was 16. I had some sort of flash back on these dreams. At 16, I was very interested,wondering what that was called also thinking, This must be a good skill to have and would be fun to! So I did some lookup on the Internet and soon found out all about lucid dreaming. And then I really wanted to have them. I started the basic exercises trough out the day to test my reality and it was soon I had my First “induced” or “wanted” lucid dream and at 16 years old. I was much more logic and aware of the state. I became aware that I was dreaming when I got up in the middle of the night to go at the washroom when I checked at the alarm clock for the time. The LCD clearly Said 3:00 AM and flashing. I did the look away test and look back to see if the time would change and sure enough it did not. When I was just about convinced I was awake, while getting ready to get back in bed I noticed hey! My Clock LCD is RED. And this one was bright Blue! Then I Knew I Was Dreaming.
My First Barrier And A New Day
A few weeks passed since I had my first lucid dream. By then I was logging them all in a journal. I was pleased at my progress but all my lucid dreams were short. Since I would get exited most times and snap back awake (Or so I thought then) I really wanted to talk about this to my parents but felt I could not. I was raised in a religious Family that believes in God Heaven and Hell. Being preached about God and The Bible as a kid and from socializing with these people for a while. I knew they would label lucid dreaming as a form of “Self Hypnosis ” and hypnosis should be stayed away from. So knowing I would most likely get discouraged. I just kept to myself and did it. Then one afternoon after school. It was near 4 PM. I was a little tired from school so I decided to take a little nap before super in the living room downstairs were it was not to noisy. I fell asleep quickly without thinking of much. I just wanted to pass out for a Catnap Hehe. Then next thing I knew. I was having a dream. But it was a normal one. I was again in the town public pool. I was having fun doing flips underwater and what not. Just totally playing the act in the dream. Then here is the interesting part. This man walks close to the edge of the pool. I could not see him well as I was focused on doing underwater flips. But I noticed he was well dressed. He had a black business suit nice shoes and possibly some sort of briefcase. I never got to notice his face. Then he spoke to me by name. The voice was serious but friendly, sounded maybe like 30 year old male. He said something like” Joel! Do you really want to have much more control? So you can have lucid dreams when ever you want? “Then there was also something asked that was more then lucid dreaming. I didn’t make out much of it as I was then still unconsciously dreaming while he was speaking to me. As I simply took him as another typical part of the dream I said well Sure!!Then He told me, “Ok let me do the work,What ever you do. Just stay completely still, try to relax and have no fear just trust me on this one.” Before I even had the time to ask what was going to happen or what he meant by all this mumble (I was still unconsciously dreaming not much of this made sense to me from within the dream) I suddenly became fully aware. But my eyes where closed and my body was totally paralyzed. Then all of a sudden. I felt a strong buzz in my head. then the vibrations came. Almost like being electrocuted but it wasn’t really painful. Just very alarming and unsual. This made me very frightened as I felt myself come out as the buzzing got stronger then I blacked out for a few moments and found myself completely awake with a heart racing. I then knew I was not just lucid dreaming no more. What was the connection with the Pool all the time in my dreams I wondered. ( I rarely went there in real life) And who was that man who brought on the Oobe and actually give me some hints before hand? It was then I decided to stop attending Church with my parents because I felt very out of place knowing what I was going true. ( Can you imagine how a 16 year old would feel about all these things happening to him?Not knowing to well what it even was) And if I would of talked about it then wow….. Not the right group that’s for sure.And It made me feel bad like I was living a Sin by doing these kind of things as they would read the bible etc. After a while the religion still got to me and scared me over these issues. One Night about 4 months later in the Summer Break I burned all my Dream Journals cause I got freaked out. didn’t want to go to hell or be possessed etc. I told myself then I would not practice this stuff no more. What ever it was I still wondered then. The rest of my high school was normal. But regardless of the total lack of none effort and practice I would still get lucid dreams and feel the onset of the Oobe Vibrations a few times a month.
Getting Over It
It was not until I was about 21 years old that I actually thought about it some more. Still getting the ocasional lucid dream and oobe vibrations. I came to conclude that it is completely harmless since by then I would have been dead. And I was not possessed or anything like that. I then thought about when I was just 6 years old. My first lucid dream that really started it all. I got this naturally. It was not like I read up on it at that age. Saw something on TV or even hear about this. So I came to conclude that what has happened to me is not something or a curse that I somehow put on myself. Therefore, If there are greater forces “God” They would understand. I could not possibly get penalized for this. I was just one of the lucky ones to notice that we all have this ability. And the other thing I concluded was once experienced, There is not really any turning back. You can do like I did for a while and try to ingore it ,but when you least expect it. It gets you. But this is not a bad thing. So all together this made me feel much better about the whole situation and I have read alot of books on the topic ever since. I would recommend reading Robert Monroe’s Books Far Journeys and Ultimate Journey. Another good one is OOBE How To Have Them & What To Expect by Robert Peterson. They talk about much of the basics. I learned a great deal of info from these books.
Oct 25 2008
I have been practicing some relaxing technics for a while now, from various sources I read up on. I did not get much luck inducing an Oobe. I can get to the visual imagery. Then I usually get loss, and loose consciousness. But I found a little shortcut for now. When I wake up in the morning. I noticed, I am already relaxed to a point it is sometimes very easy to induce the vibrations. Simply by just closing my eyes again just to let go without thinking of anything yet not unconscious. This morning I did this and just about instantly the vibrations came. I passively let it happen feeling the effects so I can remember it more and then use the familiar state as a takeoff point later on. When the vibrations sweeped my body a few times I was then paralyzed. I remember reading somewhere to not do anything for about 15 secs then try and get out. And sure enough my movements did not instantly wake me up. As I slowly tried to gain some sight I began to notice I was indeed in my room. All I could see was a light glow from my laptop hardly lighting the place for me. It was still early morning and dark out. So I just thought of more light and it’s like it became daytime and I could then see fine. I was happy to be out of my body. But I have not really planned what I was going to do next while there. So the first thing that came to my mind was flying! So here I was flying at stupid speeds in my room making flips and what not. For a little while I lost my physical body form. And I was just what it seemed a conscious energy blob flying around. Then I stooped headed for the ground. Then became “normal” again. As I walked out of my room and into my living room. Things looked normal, Except I saw something from the corner of my living room. I thought it was just cloths on a hanger or something. But as I got closer the distorted thing cleared up. I could make out the face. But it was the face of those typical alien grays. Then I got a little worried. But remembered that I can’t be harmed. I got curious and simply looked at it in the eyes and asked what it wanted. And funny it was in these exact words in sarcasm “Can I help you? It just stayed there completely still just watching me. I was sensing no communications what so ever, so I just ignored it turned around and continued my little exploration of my aptartment. Shortly after I was zapped back into my real physical body awake.
My After thoughts
The whole thing was all right. It was the Alien part that upset me a little. You see I have no Interest in them. and I do not wish to contact them in this state. But I read that some “occupy” this Oobe Reality. And just not to pay much attention to them if you happed to cross by some. What has happened while I was in this Oobe, as I got out of my room. I had just the most smallest random thought that came to my mind. And it was just that. And what happens? I see one. This makes me wonder. Does all our thoughts become some form of reality out there? Knowing I could not be harmed this did not bother me as much as it would have if it would of happened a few years ago. But I really don’t think it will happen or bother me again. I think it might have been one way I confronted that “fear” So I can move on.
Nov 9 2008
I had a rather strange Oobe this morning. Again I was not expecting it. I just was not sleeping well. It was near 5 am. So I decided to take a quick shower. What the heck. It’s refreshing. As I got back in bed a little more relaxed from the shower. Then a few minutes passed. All of a sudden I felt/heard a few pops and clicks. Then all of a sudden. I knew I have gone out of my body again. I just found it strange I wasn’t aware of the vibrations or even the buzzing sensation. It’s like I teleported. Found a fast way to bypass all this and got there real quick. Almost in an instant. Then I was aware but very groggy. I could feel that I was very far from home (My Physical) It seemed I had someone with me that was guiding me on some sort of a tour. We where both flying above observing. What I was seeing was something like the sea. It was a huge coast. a Beach. A Civilization lived there. As I saw from the flight what seemed like city buildings along this stretch of coastal beach.But there was also this wall that ran all along it and also the main Road. It was almost like a mini version of the Great Wall of China. But it was all like in Gold. I was only getting blimps and piece of this as I was still disoriented from what had just happened. I felt far away trying to understand where I was or what was going on. since all this was all happening so fast. Again it was like that other person was giving me a tour of this place. Then I remember slowing down to look at part of that golden Road structure that ran along the beach. There was what seemed like a radio tower. I asked and was confirmed it was indeed for communication.I just looked at it. Somehow they had put the tower as part of the Golden Road structure as a City Landmark at the same time. I was thinking how neat this was comparing it to our ugly low tech radio towers we have here. Thinking wow landscapers in cities where towers are becoming a problem would sure love this! Then I was thug on cause I was holding my friend back that was giving me this tour.That was not the destination it seemed. But my interest in towers/radio stoped me there for a few moments. Then I kept going in and out of consciousness. Getting far blimps and peices of what went on.We went to many places. I just don’t remember much more. Then I found myself back at my parents place. Well outside walking on the street. Then I felt stable and aware so I looked around at the houses and what not to look at the details to see how everything was stable and it was very stable. I then used this time to test my vision learn how to focus light up darken etc .It was kind of like a virtual tracking vcr button in my mind. I would mess with this knob till i got a stable reality. I was really strating to get the hang of it. Then I woke up shortly after that. The whole thing lasted about 30 mins.
My after thoughts
Well it seems that we can get out of our bodies much quicker then I thought bypassing or going very fast true the buzzing and vibrational state along with the time spent actually trying to then get out of the body if the conditions are right. I’m just not to sure what those conditions are. But I’m sure it has something to do with relaxation. I took a shower and had that nice “refreshed” feeling. As for the friend that gave me this tour. I have no clue who he/it might be. I could not make any link from him and the man that first induced an Oobe that I met in my dream then. Or I might have not been aware enough to make any known “links” So for now it’s still a mystery. But on the other hand I had some good free time afterwards in a familiar environment so I could comfortably practice how to operate in the Oobe World. I was left alone. No one or anything bothered me.
Nov 12 2008
It was early morning. I got up to go to the washroom. I then went to bed and simply tried to stay conscious. I felt like the conditions were right. It was about 7:00 AM. All of a sudden I felt the vibrations.And This time I heard distant voices but could not make them out. I ignored this as it sometimes happens. I let the vibrations come and once peaked.I just did nothing thought of nothing for about 15 seconds. Then I walked around my room remembering not to go to far. I did not want to get loss or loss track of my consciousness and I really wanted to come back with what I learned. So I stayed real close. But I lost focus for a few moments and I was now in the living room. I then saw my Mothers dog. It is very cute, so again semi conscious I tried to pet it and as I would my hand would go right true it. As I would do this I could tell the dog was anoyed at my hand and was trying to bite it without success. That’s when I came back to full consciousness when I saw my hand go right true. Then I remembered my goal. Was not to wander off to far. So I slowly went back to my room to find my body. I was a little exited but still well in control. I was a little eager to see my own body as I got back in. As this time would be the first time that it was me coming back from my own will. Being fully conscious of the come back. Unlike all the other times. There has always been something that would destract me and I would get instantly zapped back to my physical body.As I got to my room I saw my bed. Everything was in order. My pillow seemed a little flat. I could not find my body. So I looked down on the bed but nothing. Then I noticed near the pillow like a little transparent blob. It like like a fuzz near my pillow. I somehow senced that as my body and dived in. And instantly I was back to my Physical body. I checked the time and it was 7:30 AM. The whole thing lasted about 30 minutes.
My after toughts
Well It seems that this was the first time I was able to come back consciously to my body. As for my Mother’s Dog. Maybe dogs can sense these kind of things. And perhaps it did not like an Out of body hand tickling it’s nose heh. Maybe that is why It reacted by trying to bite what ever it was that was there. And I noticed that I did not see my body in its physical form when I re-entered it. This is very interesting and I will have to study it some more when I get the chance.
Dec 4 2008
I have been practicing for some weeks now. Mostly some relaxing technics to induce Oobe from a fully awaken Mind. But I still can’t get past the visual stage before losing consciousness. But that’s ok. Practice makes perfect they say. In the time being. I get some Oobe on some early mornings. This morning I got up a little early, about 7:00 AM. I thought I was going to stay up. but after about 40 minutes. I got sleepy again. So I lay back down. Next thing I knew I was in the vibrational state, so I just let it go through my body. But I noticed the vibrations were a bit more gentle this time. Not so much like a crazy roller coaster ride, like some times before. For some reason the thought of remembering to have been aware in this state before helped in calming me down. But this time it seemed that once the vibrations left, I was left just aware. thats how it felt. Just awareness in nothing. This is when I came to conclude that my physical body was 100% asleep. I was not quite sure what to do next. All the other times It was all so quick. I felt the vibrations and next thing I knew, I was where ever I happed to land without much knowing what I did or how I got there etc. I think this is mostly me fading in and out of consciousness. So I wasn’t getting so much of the picture before it seemed. But now I didn’t know how to really get out. I just felt trapped. But I just stayed there for a while. I kind of liked the feeling of it. Just knowing I was aware in such a state. Then I went back to trying to actually get out of my body. I tried various movements after a while. I could feel the momentum inside of me, But not from my physical body. It felt interesting. I tried to flip out of my body and what not with not much luck. Then I thought about just trying to let go and think of waves water and float up. I did this and it worked. All of a sudden I was out! This is the first time I have been so aware of the process (who knows what I have yet missed) Then I thought let’s see how far I can go! Just my thinking of that. Everything became dark. And it felt like I was traveling very fast like at “Warp Speeds” well thats how everything looked as it passed. And as I felt myself go, I could feel the attachment to my real physical body. And I could actually sense the distance. Like I felt myself from far far and as I would keep going the feelings would be greater. It’s hard to explain.Then I started to get a little worried as I was sensing my real physical was very far. I just did not know how far is to far and not having much experience in all this I get a little stressed. Then at that moment. I lost consciousness by what sounded like a distraction that woke me up.(Good timing, Just as I was strating to feel to far) As I woke up. It felt kind of like my physical life here and up to that last Oobe was just a dream I was having, from what it seemed a physical life over there.
(The Distraction)
This is how it happend. when I woke up. I heard some noises. I was blacked out/half asleep.(Familiar feeling right before the vibrational state) When I then opened my eyes. I was awake but groggy. The window next to my bed was wide open. It seemed to be an early summer morning.I could see people walking by on the sidewalk. some even talked to each other as they were in the middle of conversation. It was very hot because I remember half the sheets on the bed where scattered all over. And I awaken in a stretched position with just boxers on. What woke me up was the wind was coming true the window and I had these blinds, and the wind would make these clang together. And its that “clang” that woke me. Confused and everything rapidly fading away (As this life was just a typical dream. I lost consciousness of this world. And just kept on doing my thing there. Now the reason I know this was me. I felt everything he felt. They were indeed my thoughts my mind my body. Just a slightly different life/place I then remember trying to close the window. It’s one of those slide windows. As I shut it (by then I was totally unaware of this life) I got the corner of my blanket stuck in the window as I just slammed it real quick. Then because the corner of my banket was stuck by where the window closed, It would not simply re-open again (its like those clips) And the blanket jammed it. But it was no big deal. Just a few pulls and I would have that fixed. And that’s what I remember doing. I pulled. As I swag back with the blanket from the moderate pull. I all of a sudden found myself wide awake back in my physical body here with conscious memory of the full experience. It was strange but interesting.
My after toughts
For my own sake of confusion. I would of loved to been able to just label this as a wild dream. But there are things that made this experience stand out from my “normal” dreams. I had so much awareness, But at that moment only that life. Everything was solid. Not all faded or even “Enhanced” in a way lucid dream are. This felt very normal. and all laws of physics seemed solid. I could feel the most detail like the wind and the temperature. I got distracted at the clanging noises that the blinds where doing as they smached into each other as they moved into the wind.
This makes me wonder about multiple realities and opens my eyes for more experiences. Perhaps I will get more proof in time as I get better and can direct my destination.
Well that is about it for now As you can read I had some cool experiences along with alot of new questions and no answers yet. I’m still learning and think this is a great step for us for those who can/want to. I would love to be able to induce an Oobe at any time I would like to. This is one of my goals. As I find it very healthy for the soal. I would like to Talk with others with similar interests but it’s almost imposible to find these people were I come from. If anyone would like to contact me. Please feel free to email me at energyfm@coolnorth.net
I have had Out of Body Experiences on the Regular and Sometimes meetings with Spiritual Beings Etc. Some of my Experiences are Journaled on my Website as well as other Spiritual Truths that Ive have had Communicated and Learned over the years. Please Feel Free to Chat with me Anytime…Thanks
Oh by the way; My Contact Info is below
http://www.spiritualtruthnow.com
SpiritWar111@yahoo.com
i posted this on a forum and got referred here.. i don’t know if it was a real OOBE or not.
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ok i’ve been having cool dreams every since i started reducing my medication dose about a month or so ago. and what i usually do right after waking up is just remember the dreams and feel warm and fuzzy inside. soo.. about 90 minutes ago i went to sleep cause i was feeling sleepy. and i guess half an hour ago i woke up, or so i thought. i was feeling the usual lazy and tired and was remembering the latest cool dream.
i was feeling really lazy. my blanket was curled tight around me, under and above my feet (i can’t sleep unless my blanket wraps me like a cocoon :p). so.. i can’t remember why i did it. but i grabbed the blanket end near my head.. and pulled, my body beneath my waist was feeling really really heavy. but when i pulled slightly.. my body above my waist started rising up slowly like it was as light as a feather.. and when i was fully upright (the blanket was off by then) i kept going up!! i mean, not flying. i still had weight but i was really light. so i floated halfway across the room, bumped against the wall and drifted and settled down on the floor. i was extremely happy and delighted and i kept whispering ‘yes’ ‘yes’ hehe..
then i was in my bed!! right back where i was before i tried pulling myself up. sooo.. i did that again, again floated around the room. again teleported back in the bed. i did this for about 10 ten times! i tried going outside on one of the last tries.. but i couldn’t go beyond my room walls or ceiling.
then i woke up.. (???) and there had been a certain feeling in my head while i was doing all that floating. it had lessened a lot by then.. and i tried pulling the blanket but i was tooo tired and heavy. nothing happened this time. but.. everything seemed just like in the ‘dream’ (if that had been a dream, because whenever i floated before, i really really thought i was awake, i couldn’t imagine it being a dream.. although i did think it over while floating :p)
and i got up and now i’m drinking coffee.